This is just like me and my MIL! she moved out just last August and she never wants to be around me anymore. What would you do? The pattern that we'd fallen into as young adults was this:- I say something (usually expressing an opinion about something)- Sis would be annoyed at what I've said, then arsey to me- I react in kind- Sis seems totally unaware that she was arsey and reacts as if I've attacked her from nowhereSo, in order to keep the peace, for years now, the pattern has been this:- I express an opinion- Sis is arsey to me- I bite my lip to keep the peaceI've got so used to doing that I'd stopped noticing it happening.But with my father's death to deal with, there were things I did want to voice an opinion about, and I became aware that she basically doesn't like me having opinions. It is of love and of sister- and brother-hood, not of the likes of people like you and your vulgar minds and ugly thoughts. Now she doesn't anymore, sniff. We used to be super close. She can’t cope with my commenting on any of her life choices (even though she’s made some huge mistakes recently, like risking her health through not treating her medical condition with actual medicine and selling her house because the mortgage meant less disposable income than renting her mates spare bedroom) and I think this because I was always seen as the clever older responsible one when we were kids. I always try to spend time with her hoping she might go back to her old ways, such as I come up and sit with her while she's watching TV, and she always rolls her eyes and acts like I'm not there. So, if you broach the subject, be prepared for the fact that it may well not change anything. If I say something, her default reaction is to argue with it, refute it, prove me wrong. I speak to my sisters only a handful of times a year, only see them once or twice. Now, after forty years, I get it too. Satelizer is very strict and stern over us and I always felt that she hated me. We would do stuff together all the time and I always thought of her as my best friend. My friends/cousins/family/homies all told me not to bring my gf to the small parties we have cause she’s to quietwhat should I do?Descriptio? I only have her and my mum. Like most other marriages, my marriage to Matthew started off great, but it seems like things have quickly been going downhill for the last few years. We don’t speak much because it always ends in an argument but I just can’t bite my tongue when she does this crazy stuff and stresses my parents out I feel like that would be enabling her behaviour. I love my sister to death and would do anything for her, but I swear, as a person, I don’t like her. I have a similar problrm im 14 and shes 15 and i no longer see her apart from in school and still acts like i dont exist. You argue with me every time I have an opinion." But I don't want to cause arguments. Your sister seemed extremely caring and considerate at first, and why she became like this is odd and repulsive. 1. Get your answers by asking now. I only ever really see them through my mum now. I still feel protective of her as my little sisterThere may be a seed of the problem here. My sister does the same and now i just ignore her and when she asks for a favor i refuse. We were inseparable most of that time, but, all of a sudden, he doesn’t want me around. To feel crap about gender scan? At the moment that's more like once every 2 months. I realised this recently. She is effectively telling you to shut up. Just because you share the same parents it doesn't mean you have to be friends. There could be MANY reasons, and here are some possibilities: 1. She has joined a group of bad people she thinks are her 'friends', and wants to appear cool in front of them, or is following their vulgar lifestyle, which probably includes insulting younger siblings, etc. I don't tell her how to run hers. We'd spoken on the phone the day before and her words – that I was "very clever" – had crowned my post-birth euphoria. and she admitted that yes, she is aware she does that sometimes. And to @Joe Muddler - you are probably a repulsive, dirty-minded, ugly person who thinks that an innocent, lovely little brother telling his sister he loves her is 'wrong'. We see one another infrequently, and we are polite to one another, but we aren’t close. My fiancee would like more time to plan our wedding — and enjoy the process. We have been together for eight years and married for three. Let it go, you can't change anything but your attitude to it, as they say. * * * A week ago, my father called to tell me my mother didn’t want to speak to me anymore. Your Bed is Too Soft. Last year our father was very ill, and then died. Then occasionally as adults. It's so, so normal to fall into your childhood patterns of behaviour even as adults. Nothing I can do is right. I have my days but she softened me up. Of course she doesn't, as her recent contact with you shows. So I always would sleep in her bed after a nightmare and I felt much better and safer. WOW!! It sounds like a phase... Hopefully things are better now. She speaks incredibly rudely to and about everyone. Try to be more mature with the nightmare thing and don't do as many favors for her and see how she likes it. She often feels the need to explain stuff to me that I know about, or how to live my life. My client felt guilty and ashamed that at that moment she didn’t like her daughter. After he died we spent time with my mum and had to cooperate to help her sort things out. And if you want it to, you're going to have to suck up how she is - as she is going to have to with you. I've tried to be mindful of that with my own younger sister (who doesn't date yet). I just love her because she's my big sister. I get this. She has gone through some mental/emotional changes, which are retarded, and no longer wants to be lovey-dovey with you because she feels 'immature' doing it, which is stupid. Dump her.If she were not your sister, would you tolerate this behavior from a friend? We have never fallen out or argued as adults. Is it because you see others with good sister relationships, or because you genuinely like her? If we were not siblings, we would not be friendsTotally this. What's worse, and what threw me for a loop for a while, is that he actively likes my sisters (my half sisters, his children who he didn't raise and didn't have contact with til they were adults). it hurts and sometimes i just can't understand what i did to deserve that kind of treatment. She hasn't spoke to me since. Rolled her eyes every time her husband dared to take a breath. Can you tell I’ve been there, done that, got the (whole closet full) t-shirt? It took me a very long time to come to terms with it. To ask why are part time workers disliked? She no longer gives me hugs, which kind of makes me sad, but I guess it's fine. I think being so distant from a lot of my family maybe gives me a different view. Unconditionally loving my mother is only possible when I respect and love myself in the true definition of love. She is an honest, trustworthy person and … My sister used to always look after me when we were younger. My sister dislikes me mildly and I find her irritating. If we were not siblings, we would not be friends. The dynamic between you is cast and there's nothing you can do unless there's a drastic change in circumstances for one (or both) of you, like illness or miraculous wealth. I thought she was the best sister in the world for doing that for me. I said to her, “You don’t even love me, or at least you don’t act like you do.” And I remember what she said back so clearly. But blinkowl those reasons don't mean you need to be friends. But it turns out she was being too protective and she didn't hate me at all. DS’s school to teach abstinence education, Find out what Mumsnet users thought of Echo by Lloyd’s Pharmacy. You could try writing to her maybe? If you do decide to confront her be prepared to hear things you might not want to. She has not matured out of the "big sister" role. The fact that she's picking on your past weaknesses, when at the time, she was actually with you and helping you, is just shocking and disgusting. You’re not some dumb boyfriend. It’s okay to hug. I actually don't spend as much time as I used to with my brother.. but I do still spend time with him, we play video games together every once in a while; it's mostly because I got into my own things and found different hobbies. My dad doesn't like me much. Well to be honest, I can't really relate to you, BUT I can relate to your sister. It’s love. But some of the indicators that your sister-in-law is not considerate of your needs include being sent masses of outraged text messages, being asked to take part in gossipy "rumor has it" phone calls, and always wanting to be updated about your business. Has anyone ever blamed you for their toxic habits. You don't feel as enthusiastic to do the things that you used to do and the way you think changes. I'm the older sister, and when we were little I suspect she found me overbearing and we've fallen into those patterns since. I value raising my children in a warm extended-family environment, but I am finding it harder and harder to be with my sister-in-law. FWIW I don't introduce her as my little sister. I can't change my personality. Our parents pretty much neglect us but they have never been bad to us. I used to get really bad nightmares and wake up and cry (Yeah, I know I sound like a wimp) and one night she came into my room and told me that I could sleep in her bed whenever I woke up after a nightmare if it would make me feel better. Some dogs don’t like to sleep on a surface that’s too soft. Maybe seeing that you have your own independent LIFE will make her change or will make her stop insulting you, at least. We used to be super close. As a pp said, frame it in a neutral, "I've noticed this interaction pattern between us" kind of a way. it pisses me off that i have a family that doesn't want me. The only time she is nice to me is when she asks me to do favors for her, which I always am 100% willing to do, but she never does favors for me and tells me to go away. He’s picked me up off the floor multiple times after episodes with this particular sister. Do you find it strange that young females claim catcalling/harassment is common yet still wear things like short shorts, crop tops, bathing ? To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Shes always making up excuses so that she doesnt have to talk to me long on the phone, or making up excuses so she doesnt or wont hang out with me. Enough is enough. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I dislike my brother, but the fact of the matter is that we are, and have always been, very different people with very different lives, attitudes and interests. He tells me the honeymoon is over. That when she becomes nice and starts giving me importance. So, what now? Although, I don't really like the fact that she talks about you behind your back, seeming to impress her new 'friends', and completely ignores you. I never want her to feel like she is no longer important to me. We have different personalities and don't get on. (2 years ago. Imaginary sisters are perfect, but real sisters rarely live up to the ideal. Why do you think you need to be friends?Because I do care about her, even if she is being a cow.Because she's family. Turning her back on you, leaving the room when you speak is glaringly rude behavior. She also finds it funny to wrestle me, which is kind of fun I guess, but she always wins and doesn't let me up until I tell her that I am a weak little girl. Leave the ball in her court- tell her what she's doing and ask if we can try to sort it out- tell her what she's doing and that it hurts my feelings and that I don't want to talk for a while- ignore it and carry on for the sake of the rest of the family. 1. If you asked my sister if she likes me, she'd probably say yes (I think) and she'd say she cares about me.But it's become apparent to me that on a day to day level, she doesn't actually like me. If we weren't siblings we would have lost touch twenty years ago. and while i'd like to say that i'm over it i'm not. Sometimes the giveaway that your mother-in-law just doesn't like you is that, to her, you're forgettable. If you have any advice on how I can get my sister to like me like she used to, I would be so happy. And tbh I'm sick of walking on egg shells now I realise that's what I've been doing for so long. Tell Him and discuss what you have observed and solve this issue. This poem was one I wrote after my dad told me he didn't love me. My experience is that you can’t force these things. Just because she is my sister, doesn’t me I am obliged to accept her into my life. Dad Doesn't Love Me. On the other hand I find it very unusal for a brother to keep telling his sister he loves her. It's what I feel like doing right now though. Basically it says:Bitch Eating CrackersEverything this person does annoys you, even something as simple as eating crackers. You can care about someone but not be close. I'm not sure I'm really up for that though...Actually what I've done is not be in contact much, but chat sometimes. This will make it very very hard for your sister to change, even if she recognises some truth in what you are saying (it's interesting that she admitted she realises she doesn't like you having an opinion). I have my friends, boyfriend, children, for my support and relationships.Don't get me wrong, I'd love the Disney version of siblings, but it just doesn't happen all the time. My best friend is like my sister, and her mom is like my other mom, and I get to love and be loved. Why do you think you need to be friends? You’re my sister. When I complement her it means nothing to her and she just blows it off. Where did the myth that bullies have low self-esteem originate? Abby has never read Harry Potter, because she doesn't like to read, unlike her sister Haley who's obsessed. And you wanting to sleep with her is weird by itself. To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. In some cultures, like Indian ones, there is an extremely special relation between sister and brother, and this is actually celebrated in the form of an annual festival. DH notices she does this too. Sound a lil like incest to me. I've become aware, that when I am speaking, she sometimes turns her back and walks away as she doesn't like what I'm saying or the way I'm saying it. Treat her as an acquaintance, as you say- you are not close. (Tomorrow). Honestly I don't think he'll ever pressure me to do anything I wouldn't want to do cause he's so sweet and such a great guy. She doesn't have kids. What have you got to lose? He gets it. I believe my sister has made me partly who I am. You’re not some snotty, fake friend who obviously was using me. Stormed around complaining about 'having to do everything' but criticised anyone who tried to help her.. All came to a head one day when she was spectacularly rude to our Mum and I called her out on it. Don't get me wrong she will be there for me and I will be there for her if needed - but we don't have to like each other.Apart from parents we have nothing in common. my sister doesn't really like talking to me either...i'm too white for her. By: Soccer Freak 101. Follow/Fav My Sister Doesn't Like Me Anymore. Now after finding Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore, what to do? You’re my blood. And a little child running to his older sibling's bed at night for support is NOT WEIRD. She doesn't cheer you on. Do be careful not to be confrontational or blaming because she'll just get defensive and you won't get anywhere productive. I just don't know what to do at this point. Individual dogs have different sleep surface preferences, just like people do. But that's not gonna happen any time soon. ? At least this proves that - PEOPLE DO CHANGE, AND CHANGE A LOT. It's perfectly possible that you'll find out that your behaviour upsets her just as much. She just doesn't like me. Still have questions? I’m learning to bite my lip as she is old 🙈. We see one another infrequently, and we are polite to one another, but we aren’t close. I'm assuming you're a 'HARDCORE' western white boy, joe shitler. I think she thinks I don't notice, and I had trained myself to ignore it. Dear Annie: My husband doesn’t spend time with me anymore. We were a good support for each other when my dad was ill. What would you do?Try and look at it from her point of view. We have never fallen out or argued as adults. 2. This made me cry.. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. But it grates on me as an adult. I've tried to talk to her about it but she always tells me to go away and calls me a big baby when I tell her she can sometimes hurt my feelings. Being forced to spend time together made me realise something. It is to the point that now I’m 23 and love hugs from her. Unfortunately though hugging my mom feels forced still and I don’t feel anything when I try to do it. Live Well Nebraska Ask Amy: My fiancée's mom helped her buy a house and doesn't want me on the deed. Is it true you only make a once in a lifetime best friend? 15 Unfortunate Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore. What do I do?I did feel like telling her I don't want to see her. GOD only knows what kind of vulgar cultures and ugly societies and families some people live in that make their minds as shitty as joe muddler's. The person I admire completely ignores me? I am an extrovert, she is an introvert. She doesn’t care (ouch) so bounce the Don’t Care Bear right back at her. One advice I can also give you is that GOD is your everything..your parents never supported you, your sister has turned into garbage you don't need to care for anymore, but GOD will always remain with you and in your support. Our best answer is to talk with your husband. Another thing that kind of bothers me is she trash talks about me with her friends. She can whistle. But I know if I tell her to effectively fuck off and leave me alone she'll be hurt and I know I'll regret it. Your Bed is Too Small. This is page 1 of 2 (This thread has 37 messages.). I was standing in my room—in tears, and she was in the hallway and we were arguing about something that I can’t even remember now, I think it had to do with my little sister. Why not say that you have noticed this pattern, you'd like to be closer and see what she says? I actually think when my mum dies (hopefully not for many many years) we actually won't keep on touch save the odd like on a Facebook post. I dont get on well with my sister. TLDR; my boyfriend (19m) avoids having a proper texting conversation with me (19f) unless he wants to sext, he forgets to call me every time I’ve asked him to call me for the past month and instead goes to play video games or go out with friends despite telling me he will call me, he never asks first, and he never comes to see me anymore. When I tell her that I love her, she no longer ever tells me she loves me too, she will say "That's cool" or "Okay" which kind of depresses me. this sounds like something i've posted all week. 3. Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox. Too bad your parents have neglected you, so they are obviously not a source of help for you at all. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. We would do stuff together all the time and I always thought of her as my best friend. We don't argue these days though. I was the one doing this for my little sister, I feel so bad, I'd hit her sometimes, now she's changed and barely talks to me about issues, I'm so sorry for what happened, beyond this point, tease her ;(. I didn't always bite my lip and we ended up having an argument, but this time I stood my ground and said "look sis, this is what you're doing. But the fact that they don't really like us has pretty much made me and my sister really close. But the thing is, it's mutual. I realised this recently. So I guess my options are:- tell her what she's doing and that it hurts my feelings. your sister is a mental and physical abuser who needs to quit bulling you. I'm answering 2 years after, but here we go. But the fact that they don't really like us has pretty much made me and my sister really close. But we're not kids now.But even so, now, I can't do anything right. Recently, though, she has been kind of avoiding me. So grant her wish: Stop talking to her. So if u ask me u should stop letting her use u for favors and say that she needs to give respect to get it, sorry I'm late but I have the same issue my sister is 13 and is a ***** to me just because I'm different then her and I have some issues. Nope.Just because you accidentally have the same parents does not mean you have to put up with her shitty treatment towards you. I suspect she thinks she's the wounded victim in all this, valiantly putting up with me. Sisters are like elephants: If you have a sister, be prepared to have her bring up past wrongs and incidents--even going as far back as elementary school--where she believed (and still believes) you were the guilty one. Posted Mar 19, 2015 There is no point forcing a relationship - older one and I are very different people and actually actively dislike each other tbh, younger one and I just don't have much time for each other. Most things like this never happened. Unconditional love towards my mother on my part no longer looks like me accepting her devaluing and abusive actions and regard towards me. I just try to talk to her and spend time with her because I know within the next year or two she will move out and I will barely get to see her. Say that you would love to be closer but you can't bear the way that the two of you argue so much when you're together. She will say stuff like "Yeah, he's an idiot" or "He's a loser" when I guess she doesn't know I can hear her, but I can. How do you think about the answers? It was prompted by a comment I left on a friend’s Facebook post about their own mother, sympathizing with the complicated and difficult relationship they have. It’s not dorky or weird. The reality is that siblings don’t always get on. Do You Like Your Sister? My sister came to visit me in hospital, along with her latest boyfriend. We usually see each other about once every 2 or 3 months and talk on the phone every fortnight to once a month, roughly. yea i know how you feel. She's been my other mom for a long time, comforting me when I am in sorrow, celebrating my joys and triumphs, and just spending time with me, knitting, quilting, or watching basketball. Sometimes she will make fun of me and I will actually cry and she just tells me to stop acting like a little five year old. One time you should be mean back see how she likes it:p. Never talk to her again, see how she likes it. Interestingly she sounds like your younger sister(even down to the walking out) except she is actually my older sister.We are quite literally chalk and cheese. She was innocent when she was young herself, and now that she is older, her personality has changed and she has become a repulsive, pathetic, trashy person who will grow into a dirty adult. This, though, slices like a knife to a vital artery in a way because I can’t imagine my life without you in it. She does, however, tend to wake me up at 3am flopping her fluffy little butt right up next to me as if to say "Ok, NOW you can shower me with cuddles". But suddenly I find I can't ignore it. She is an adult now. She doesn't know why his sister doesn't like her. And that's a serious question. She is fed up with her antics, especially this last incident where his sister called her out of her name, and acted as if she wanted to fight her. at the Bitch Eating Crackers thing. Posted Mar 19, 2015 she does n't actually like me until our will. A sudden, he doesn ’ t be someone I would have anything to do it in bed me! Don’T know how to tell me my mother is only possible when I try to be.... Not a source of help for you at all the fact that they n't! I can relate to your inbox just are n't close and there 's no point trying to your! 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